Endometriosis leads not only to a disturbed relationship with your own body, but often also to a disturbed relationship with your gynaecologist. This quickly ends in a „divorce“, because both are overwhelmed by the situation.
The next Gynaecologist will be Dr. Right
Endometriosis is not curable. There is no drug that could heal it. It can quickly return after surgery. Symptoms can also only be alleviated to a limited extent.
Basically, doctors and patients with endometriosis meet at eye level - both do not really know what to expect. For this reason, completely different qualities than the pure specialist knowledge of the doctor come to the fore. More important than prescribing hormones and painkillers are trust, empathy and respect! If the services of a doctor for endometriosis fail, you need at least a "therapy partner" who accompanies you and above all: takes you seriously!
For me personally, the right gynaecologist for endometriosis should
- not attribute the symptoms to stress and/or mental instability
- not use you as a guinea pig for various hormones
- be open to alternative/holistic forms of treatment
- do not consider you as good source of income through regular ultrasound examinations, which are subject to a charge
- not keep telling you that you are strange as other women can indeed tolerate hormones
- not suggesting pregnancy for therapy
- not constantly tell you what an interesting and fascinating disease endometriosis is
- believe what you ar saying!
It is not easy to find such a doctor. In addition: Before every first appointment I almost have a guilty conscience to go into the situation with too high demands and to overtax my counterpart. I almost feel like I'm on a first date where I have to confess that I bring in uncontrollable, hyperactive triplets from my previous relationship ...
In any case, I have already experienced some failures with this very particular "partner search":
Type: Don´t be so dramatic!
When you're young, you believe anything they say. So I believed my first gynaecologist when he said: "Oh, every woman has problems during menstruation." The feeling of someone driving with a lawnmower through my abdomen seemed to be normal. Probably I was just over-sensitive. And that it got worse under the pill, I imagined then only. Hey, he was the expert, he would know. He never discovered endometriosis in me, not even suspected it.
Type: I don´t care about you
Six months after my first surgery, I went to see a new doctor. She did the normal cancer check-up - that was it. No ultrasound, even though in some endo-patients there can only be a few weeks
between surgery and relapse.
Coincidentally, my roommate at the time had an appointment with the same doctor on the same day - but as a private patient. She was given an ultrasound - although there was no indication.
That was the last time this doctor had seen me. Even if she didn't know it at that moment: I broke up with her!
Type: I´m not responsible for your feelings
I switched to a doctor where I felt in good hands at first. She at least showed interest and lent me books about endometriosis. After all, she had endo literature at her disposal ...
She recommended that I continue taking the progestins, which I was originally only supposed to take for half a year. She said it was "the best treatment" for endometriosis on the market. I believed her. At that time I didn't know that hormones didn't help in my form of endo. She did obviously not know either ...
One day I told her that I felt that the hormones were driving me more and more into depression (which meanwhile is evidenced by scientific research)
She replied with sharp therapeutic expertise: "You just have to try to look at this world positively somehow".
I stopped taking the hormones at my own call and I got better. I never went back to her. Finally - I had emancipated myself!
Type: In this relationship I´m in charge!
Another doctor tried to nip in the bud rerading my efforts to emancipate. Despite my extend endo I had to pay for the ultrasound every time. And then he refused prescribing natural progesterone ointment. Instead he gave me advice what to do against the side effects of synthetic progesteron. I found the following particularly interesting: "Treat yourself, go have a cup of coffee."
This doctor had opened my eyes - so this was the origin of all my problems: I am a tea drinker!
Finally: Dr. Right!
I had almost given up hope. Completely discouraged and internally prepared for the discussion about my refusal to take synthetic hormones, I sat in front of a new doctor. He looked at my OP reports and finally said: "From a gynaecological point of view, you´re srewed! I can't help you - but I'll do anything you want."
That was my doctor!
He prescribed the progesterone ointment for me, even though he did it for the first time and it was also an experiment for him. The ointment seemed to work, at least I did not develop
depressions. For over 5 years we had a relationship at eye level. Everything was good.
Now I have emigrated to Scotland.
And the search begins anew.